Everyone has
Good days
And
Bad days.
On good days
I wake up
With a smile-
I don’t have to
Lie in bed and
Wonder
Why I’m still
Alive.
On good days
My breath doesn’t
Catch
Halfway through
A conversation
And I don’t feel
Like I’m
Choking on
Air.
On good days
I don’t cry-
I tell myself
That I’m strong
And I believe it.
On good days
I try to live right.
On good days
I don’t feel dead
Inside.
And then
There are bad days
When I don’t
Wake up.
When I drag
Myself
Out of bed
Like dead weight-
I linger by the sink
By the closet
By the window
Not wanting to
Leave the solitude
Of my sanctuary-
But I do
I force myself
To follow the same path
That I follow
Every other day.
On bad days
I don’t feel like talking
Or walking
Or eating
Or breathing
Or living.
On bad days
I hold my breath
And count to
A thousand
But then
The stupid
Defense reflex
Forces me to breathe
And I fall
Gasping and
Spluttering
But still alive.
On bad days
I laugh
With a hollowness
Within me.
But it doesn’t matter
No one notices
I’m too good an
Actor.
On bad days
I feel dead
Inside.
t.i.i. 